Wednesday, September 28, 2011

forty

Thirty nine years, 11 months, 30 days… you can round it off to 40. FORTY YEARS.  Fourteen thousand six hundred ten days. How did I make my way along this path known to many as life?  The days that have marked the sum of my life will bear witness to me being carried, dragged, pushed, pulled, idling, leading; but often, just running… Running through life while memories are forged; memories of success, missed opportunities, failure, regrets, loss, pain, accomplishments and relationships.  Love and growth.  Growth and love.  Some 21,038,400 minutes of moving forward…toward?  What?  Fame?  Wealth?  Something. Yes, forty years have taught me much more than I can share here in this space and time.

I’ve learned that Daddy will always try to fix any problem his little girl has…Band-Aids have as much healing ability as a doctor, white carpet is not a good idea, baby boys want their Mama, teenage boys are bipolar, Matthew’s reflection can be seen in my mirror, not all pretty girls are nice, not all lies are selfish, fat is a barrier, my pain makes Tracy cry, my disappointment focuses Matthew, can survive not sleeping on the left, my mouth says things that my heart would never signoff on, some people will help, people are going to talk, true acceptance is never asked for, tragedies will leave you broken, love allows you to see colors, devotion isn’t always reciprocated, strength can come from weakness, white can be worn after Labor Day, I am not always right, it’s hard to apologize, my heart is made of egg shells, my ego needs a bodyguard, reading is essential as air, evil exist, people won’t always do the right thing, power can change a person, true love does exist, my father is a King, I have an abundance of acquaintances, a few true-blue friends, God does not like ugly, I should apologize, some people want you to fail, a few will fight for you, blood doesn’t mean family, unrelated people can be family, time moves faster after becoming a parent, parenthood is more than a blessing, God will be merciful, people can surprise you, hard work doesn’t guarantee an outcome, tears help cleanse the soul, hatred takes away your decision, I will only be tall on the kindergarten hall, hatefulness can come with a ribbon, sons are an inheritance from God, self-esteem is never going to be great, each family member should have a remote, blessings are to be treasured and celebrated, greed is a hard burden to shoulder, sympathy is not compassion, taking action is a true measure, forgiving is a process, love can hurt, anger robs you of happiness, marriage is more than sharing a name, I will make mistakes, standing up for yourself isn’t disrespect, and even when they don’t follow, lead by example.
Some of life’s lessons have cost more than I care to admit; some financial, others blood, sweat and tears.  When discussing birthday goodies, which have always shower down on me, I realized I need nothing.  Not one single thing.  I have the man I will grow old with; the son that will turn my hair gray, God has provided me 40 years worth of memories to celebrate.  I am thankful for the time and space to live my life.  Since my cup is full, I want to pass the pitcher.  I want to stop feeling sympathetic and show compassion.  I want to let my light shine…  Normally you wouldn’t be able to see my shining light because it is meant only for my Father.  I want my friends and family’s lights to shine even brighter by making a donation to Team Brandon instead of giving me more stuff.  I know you love me, even without something shinny tied in a perfect bow.  Together we can give hope.  I’m not sure about you, but sounds like a pretty dang good way to spend my 14610th day.  

2 comments left with ♥:

HB Deal said...

WOW! :) You never cease to amaze me. This is awesome! Hope you had a wonderful day!

Wanda, Geoff and Lexi said...

This is a little late but your post inspired me! I'm going to follow your proud and inspiring lead when I turn 50 next spring!

Blog Designed by The Single Momoirs